Playing the Game vs. Changing the Game: Which Strategy Actually Works?
When to Assimilate and When to Disrupt
"If you want to change the system, you must first understand how it works." – Eleanor Roosevelt
Women in leadership, business, and politics often face a crucial strategic question: Do you play the game as it exists, mastering the unwritten rules of power (however biased they are towards our male counterparts), or do you work to change the game entirely? The answer is neither simple nor one-size-fits-all. Instead, the most effective approach is knowing when to assimilate and when to disrupt.
Both strategies—playing within the system and transforming it—have historical precedents, strategic advantages, and risks. Understanding when to apply each is the key to wielding influence effectively while advancing gender equity.
The Case for Playing the Game
Assimilation is often necessary for initial success. Historically, many women who have risen to positions of power have done so by mastering the existing system before using their influence to change it.
Why It Works
Access to Power & Resources – Playing the game allows women to gain positions of influence, financial capital, and decision-making authority.
Credibility & Legitimacy – Mastering the system proves competence, making it harder for opponents to discredit you.
Strategic Patience – History shows that incremental change often outlasts revolutionary movements.
Real-World Examples
Ruth Bader Ginsburg played the game strategically, operating within the legal system to dismantle gender discrimination one case at a time rather than attacking the system outright.
Indra Nooyi, former CEO of PepsiCo, mastered corporate leadership and used her position to push for sustainability and gender equity from within.
When to Play the Game
Early Career or Entry into a Field – Understanding and navigating the existing structure is necessary to gain access to leadership roles.
Building Strategic Alliances – Creating relationships with key decision-makers can provide leverage for later disruption.
Earning the Right to Challenge the System – Once you’ve gained credibility, it’s easier to introduce significant changes.
The Risks of Assimilation
Complicity in a Broken System – If you assimilate too deeply, you may inadvertently uphold the very structures you aim to change.
Delayed Impact – Incremental change takes time, and systemic barriers can make progress slow.
The Case for Changing the Game
Disruption is necessary when systems are fundamentally flawed and do not allow for equitable progress. This strategy involves directly challenging norms, breaking rules, and introducing entirely new ways of operating.
Why It Works
Rapid Systemic Change – Direct challenges force institutions to respond and adapt more quickly.
Elimination of Bias at the Root – Instead of working within a flawed system, disruption aims to replace it with something better.
Inspiration for Future Generations – Disruptors become role models for others who might not have seen a path forward.
Real-World Examples
Ursula Burns, the first Black female CEO of a Fortune 500 company (Xerox), actively spoke out about racial and gender inequities in leadership, breaking barriers instead of just working within them.
Stacey Abrams refused to accept traditional political pipelines, instead building grassroots infrastructure to shift political power in Georgia.
When to Disrupt the System
When Marginal Gains Aren’t Enough – If the game is inherently designed to keep certain groups out, small changes won’t be enough.
When You Have Leverage – Disruption is most effective when paired with power, influence, or public support.
When New Models Are Feasible – Creating alternative paths (e.g., starting your own business, forming advocacy groups) can be more effective than fighting for inclusion in exclusionary systems.
The Risks of Disruption
Backlash and Resistance – Systems fight back. Those in power may try to discredit, silence, or remove disruptors.
Financial and Career Costs – Walking away from the game can mean losing access to traditional resources.
Emotional & Physical Toll – Constantly challenging the status quo can lead to burnout, particularly for women who already face systemic bias.
So, Which Strategy Works?
The most powerful women in leadership, business, and politics understand that the answer is both—but timing is everything.
The Power of Hybrid Strategy
Master the Game First, Then Change It – Learning the system provides leverage to challenge it effectively (e.g., Kamala Harris using her prosecutorial background to push for criminal justice reform).
Identify Pressure Points – Some industries are more resistant to change than others. Finance and politics, for example, may require more assimilation, while entrepreneurship offers more freedom for disruption.
Pick Your Battles Wisely – Not every fight needs to be fought head-on. Some can be won by positioning yourself strategically over time.
Actionable Steps for Women Leaders
If You’re in the Early Stages of Your Career or Business:
Learn the rules, power structures, and decision-making processes.
Build credibility and cultivate allies. Be strategic.
Observe where change is most needed and feasible.
If You’re Established and Ready to Lead Change:
Identify leverage points where you can push for systemic shifts.
Speak up strategically—calculate the right moments to disrupt.
Support other women in the pipeline, ensuring that progress continues.
If You’re in a Position of Power:
Challenge norms, advocate for policy changes, and introduce bold initiatives.
Actively mentor and sponsor women who are rising through the ranks.
Invest in alternative structures that bypass traditional gatekeepers.
Final Thought: The Most Powerful Women Do Both
The greatest women in leadership know that success is not about choosing between playing the game and changing it—it’s about playing it long enough to build power, then using that power to rewrite the rules.
Further Reading & Sources:
"The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence" by Dacher Keltner
"Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead" by Sheryl Sandberg
Harvard Business Review, "Women and the Labyrinth of Leadership"
McKinsey & Company, "Women in the Workplace 2023"